'HOW TO GET A SECOND LIFE' final extract from Madddyyy Schnooks book

Relationships and more

Interacting on SL can be very intense and vivid ­ being a virtual world, you have so much more than typed text to get to know a person. You can do things together, hear each other¹s voices and literally live a second life with another person.
Inevitably, relationships that run deeper than mere friendship can form and this can be thrilling, exciting and emotionally fulfilling. It is possible to become partners with another avatar. This is a bit like getting married, except there are no gender or even species restrictions on who you can marry.
It currently costs L$10 to make a partner request through the SL website and your partner will also have to pay L$10 to make it official. You can partner for romantic, business or any reason you like ­ the choice is yours.
If you want to divorce or dissolve your partnership later on it will cost L$25.
To make a partner request you just need to go to your profile and click on the ‘?’ button next to PARTNER to be given a link to the SL website where you can apply for partnership.
There are a few points you need to remember about forming close relationships in SL, as it can be quite different from RL:
* As with any online interaction, be sensible about the information you choose to divulge about yourself ­ you never know who you might be talking to!
* Some people form relationships in SL when they are having an RL relationship.
While this comes down to personal preference and morality, do think about the impact SL attachments might have on your RL relationship, as well as the impact on the SL person who might not know your relationship status.
* Always remember that behind every avatar is a real person. Just because you are interacting on an avatar-to-avatar basis, it doesn't mean the real people behind them can't form attachments and can't get hurt ­ they can, and they do.
SL is much more than a game when it comes to forming relationships so it is best to operate on the principle of treating others in the way you'd like to be treated.
* When it comes to relationships, drama is rife in SL. Some say it is down to the fast-moving and intense nature of SL. According to many members, a relationship that lasts longer than a month is a rarity. In reality, there are many successful and lasting SL relationships that endure, and some even make the jump to RL love and romance.
Sex in SL
As soon as you arrive in SL, it is hard to ignore the barrage of information about sex clubs, escorts, pole dancing and orgy rooms. In particular, BDSM and Gorean slavery are very popular SL subcultures.
While these can be fun to visit and very liberating, as they offer an opportunity to try all sorts of things that one might not dream of doing in RL, there is more to sex in SL.
The act of sex itself in SL revolves mainly around poseballs and animations.You click on either a pink (usually for women) or blue (usually for men) and let the animation do its thing. If both avatars are wearing good quality skins and you are the sort who is particularly visually stimulated, you might find this arousing in the same way that some find animé porn exciting, but it might not do much for you.
To have good sex in SL consider the following:
* Genitals and skin: Your avatar doesn't come with genitals or nipples ­ for a more realistic experience, you will need to invest in a skin that is more realistic than the default and, in the case of male avatars, purchase some genitals (yes, you read that right!).
It is possible to find basic ‘bits’ in freebie warehouses.
* Penises: Penis attachments need to be removed after you have done the deed as they will still be visible after you put on your clothes.
* Renting rooms: If you are landless, consider renting a room by the hour rather than heading for a sex club (unless exhibitionism is your thing).
* SexGen beds: If you have your own private home, consider investing in aSexGen bed.
This is a scripted sex bed with a menu of various animated Positions your avatars can take. SexGen is the main brand of bed, although there are many others on the market. Shop around as prices can vary considerably for very similar products. You might like to investigate more exotic equipment, such as BDSM devices, if that is what you enjoy.
* Edit the positions: As avatar sizes and shapes are different, do take the time to edit the positions on your bed to suit the size of you and your partner.
It does take patience and time to do, so you could ask your partner to send you details of his/her shape and change your avatar to this shape and make the adjustments yourself when you have a moment. If you have an alt (analternative avatar) it might be preferable to use your alt for this.
* Sexy chat: Words plus pictures are more interesting and exciting so don't be afraid to talk during your SL liaisons. Don't forget to use IM rather than chat to keep your conversation completely private.
* Be prepared: If you are going to have SL sex, make sure that you have an Object that stops animations readily available in your inventory. If something goes wrong and you find yourself ejected from a place while having sex, you might find yourself somewhere unexpected while in flagrante (it does happen!).
If this happens you can quickly use your object to stop your embarrassing animation in an instant.


Extracted from How to Get a Second Life ©2007 madddyyy Schnook and Andrew Sullivan is published by Fusion Press.
Available from www.amazon.co.uk, www.visionpaperbacks.co.uk and all good bookshops.